Many of the people around me are aware of the importance of maintaining a good mental health. But like me (and possibly like you too) they have struggles with their mental happiness sometimes. Recently this has been more of an issue than usual, I go through a cycle of being confident and sure of what I need to do to make myself happier and healthier and feel sure that I will get myself on track but then the anxious, uneasy feelings creep in and when I actually try things that I think will be good for me and make me happy I get too worried or unconfident to put myself fully into them. In the end I even end up convincing myself that I didn’t want to try them in the first place. I don’t know if this is a feeling others experience but its an issue that I’m trying to deal with at the moment.
These anxious feelings are really inhibiting the way I am going about creating at the moment. I think it is the lack of confidence I have in myself that is the main problem and this definitely fluctuates. Sometimes I am confident and believe that the more work I put in the better but then I worry myself sick and retreat to laying in bed all day, eating too much and dreaming of all the things that I want to do or believe that I will do. I once read somewhere that sometimes we get the same feeling of ‘doing something’ by reading and watching enough of someone else doing it, I definitely think this is true for me. But I don’t want to live through my laptop screen seeing what everyone else is up to, its nice to keep up with the world but sometimes I forget that I need to make something of my own time too.
I feel like these kind of times are common with students or at least with many of the ones I know. At this moment I am coming out of the part of the cycle where I do nothing out of worry and I am feeling hopeful and plan to put a lot more effort into what I know makes me happy.
To anyone that also feels the same some of the best ways that I have found to make myself feel better about this are: eat better- we all know pizza is the best but honestly eating well makes you feel so much more alive, see the people you already care about and meet new ones too (this is something I need to do more of at the moment!) and even if you think you don’t have any reason to get up in the morning give it a try, there are a lot of hours in a day where you could do so much! Creating something is also one of my favourite ways to feel better.
To get out my current sad rut I took a trip to the National Museum of Scotland, I did this alone whilst friends were busy. Going somewhere like this alone is something before I do it I feel confident I can do but sometimes when I actually put myself in the situation I do get worried. However even though I only stayed for a few hours I had a great time and saw some cool things that inspired me.
I think for now I will light a candle and just play with some paint, I think overthinking things is what stops me so I just need to switch off and chill out.
Thank you for reading this personal post and I hope you’re doing okay!